There’s power in surrender and understanding the limits of what we can control — and a peace that can come from being willing to just go along for the ride.

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Originally written in the early 20th century, the Serenity Prayer reads: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.” It gained widespread recognition when it was adopted by Alcoholics Anonymous and other 12-step programs in the 1940s.

You don’t need to be religious to appreciate the sentiments behind the Serenity Prayer. It encourages individuals to recognize their limitations and to let go of efforts to control the uncontrollable — a practice often referred to as surrender. Far from passive resignation, this form of surrender is an act of wisdom and strength, freeing people from the emotional and psychological toll of struggling against what cannot be changed.

At the same time, the prayer calls for courageous engagement with the parts of life that can be influenced, empowering people to take responsibility where it matters.

Reflection questions

1. What does the word surrender mean to you — not in defeat, but in growth?
   
2. Can you share a time when trying to control a situation only made things harder? What did you learn from that experience?
   
3. How do you know when it’s time to let go of something — whether it’s a belief, a relationship or a goal?
   
4. What fears or beliefs make it hard for you to surrender control in your life?
   
5. Have you ever experienced peace or clarity after surrendering something difficult? What changed?
   
6. What’s the difference between giving up and letting go? How do you tell the difference in your own life?
   
7. What role does trust — whether in yourself, others or something bigger — play in surrendering?
   
8. How do you typically react when life doesn’t go the way you planned? What would a surrendered response look like?
   
9. In what area of your life right now might surrender be more helpful than effort or resistance?
   
10. What practices (like mindfulness, prayer, journaling, etc.) help you release control or ground yourself in uncertainty?

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Turn ideas into action with these suggested activities from our Resilience Toolbox.

More modules

Module 1. Making your own luck: Lessons learned from a coin flip

Module 2. Improving adaptability: Lessons learned from an absurd Christmas tree

Module 3. Embracing teamwork: Lessons learned from a rogue haybale

Module 4. Leveraging tools: Lessons learned from a poorly chosen sledgehammer

Module 5. Learning humility: Lessons learned from a very brief career as a valet

Module 6. Failing forward: Lessons learned from banshee babies and buttered butts

Module 7. Avoiding shortcuts: Lessons learned from a giant backpack

Module 8. Redefining success: Lessons learned from an idiotic bet

Module 9. Letting go: Lessons learned from a gooey pit of clay

Module 10. Taking responsibility: Lessons learned from trying to catch a train

Module 11. Getting creative: Lessons learned from the toboggan hill

Module 12. Fuelling motivation: Lessons learned from sleeping in a barn

Module 13. Handing over control: Lessons learned from riding in a shopping cart

Module 14. Practising gratitude: Lessons learned from a very special list

Module 15. Prioritizing self-care: Lessons learned from a surprise birthday celebration in the hospital

Module 16. Creating lasting change: Lessons learned from life’s awesome and absurd moments