Video lesson

It’s easy to blame others when things go wrong. It’s harder to take an honest look inside to see how your own actions have contributed to the problem.

Reflection questions

  • What are some examples of self-sabotage in your life?
  • Consider a time when you blamed someone or something for a problem. Now take an honest look inward. What role did you play in the problem?
  • Why is it important to take responsibility for your actions? How can you practise personal accountability in your life?

Exercise: Find an accountability buddy

Need help staying on track? Enlist the help of an accountability buddy — someone you share your goals for the week or month with and ask to check in with you on a regular basis about your progress.

For example, on Monday, you could send them a list of two or three tasks you want to accomplish that week. And then at the end of the week, you must report back to them if you completed those tasks. Or they reach out to you to see how things went.

You can also have them take on a more hands-on role to boost your personal responsibility. Want to stop cracking your knuckles? Agree to pay your girlfriend a buck for every infraction. Need some more motivation go for a run in the morning? Do it with a friend to make getting out of bed easier.

There are also plenty of websites and apps out there that are designed to help you set and stick to your goals. Stickk is a good example (

Tools and tips from around the web

What Is Self-Sabotage? How to Help Stop the Vicious Cycle

The Psychology of Self-Sabotage and Resistance (video)

7 Signs Of Self Sabotage (video)


Stopping the Cycle of Digital Self-Sabotage

4 Steps to Stop Blaming

11 Strategies To Fight Self-Sabotage (That Work In Just A Few Minutes)

Self-Sabotage: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior

Self-Sabotaging: Why We Do It & 8 Ways to Stop

Blame Culture Is Toxic. Here’s How to Stop It.

How to Stop Playing the Blame Game

How to Take Responsibility for Your Actions