I’ve never had much of a fashion sense. Most of my clothes are unfit for a blind hobo. Despite this complete ineptitude and disinterest in anything to do with fashion, I knew the moment I laid eyes on that old fashioned bathing suit in the display case at the Canadian Rockies Hot Springs in Alberta, Canada, that I had to have it.

My brother Nicholas, whom I was visiting, was also quick to see the majestic glory of these one-piece, full-body, blue swimsuits. They seemed to have time-traveled from an era where handlebar moustaches ruled and measurements were given in quarts, leagues and furlongs. The idea of renting a bathing suit seemed as sanitary to us as a communal jockstrap, but the chance to don such a wonder in swimwear was too much to pass up.

Forking over two dollars for the swimsuit rentals, Nicholas and I proceeded to the change room and shimmied into them. They were uncomfortably snug around the crotch, leaving little to the imagination. I wondered what the odds were of me catching old-timey syphilis from these old-timey outfits.

As we strolled through the steam emitted from the hot springs we were greeted with startled looks, snickers, and wide berths. Despite the staring and pointing, it was a very relaxing soak. The Rocky Mountain views don’t get much better than Banff, Alberta.

And best of all, to our total surprise and delight, the old-timey suits did not dissolve in the water.

Before we changed we had a friend run to the car to get the camera so we could commemorate this pinnacle of high fashion. In hindsight, a grown man running into the men’s change room with a digital camera may have caused more heads to turn than did the show Nicholas and I had put on in the springs.

Taking a soak in the Banff hot springs is a great. Taking a soak in the Banff hot springs while wearing old timey bathing suits is awesome.

Adult admission will cost you around $8 and families with two adults and two kids can get in for around $23. Swimsuit rentals go for $2 a piece.

Check out the Canadian Rockies Hot Springs website for more info.

This post was adapted from one of the stories in my book, “Simple(ton) Living: Lessons in balance from life’s absurd moments.”

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